The Limericks of Lynn

Note: The first ten limericks are from Cascade Magazine, which gave Lynn the inspiration to write a few of her own– enjoy!
There was a young schoolgirl called NatWho sat in her class rubbing her twat. She liked being naughty, It made her feel horny, So she pissed in her pants where she sat!
There was a young girl called Jo Who woke up dying to go She sleepily said, “I think I’ll pee in my bed.” Then she frigged herself off in mid flow!
There was a young girl called Louise. Who just loved to flirt and to tease– She lifts up her dress And I think you can guess That it’s into her pants that she pees!
There was a girl named Kate Who needed the loo – couldn’t wait. So she let go the lot In her clothes – guess what? She thought that pissing in her panties was great!
There once was a schoolgirl named Sarah, Who’d do anything if you dared her In the classroom she’d piss With such a loud hiss, So’s all of the class could hear her!
There was a young lady of France Who was always doing a dance When enquired why she did this She said, “To keep in my piss … And it saves me from peeing my pants!”
There was a young lady of Exeter Who finds wetting her knickers excite her When pee runs down her thighs She’s on a sexual high And wants it to go on forever!
There was a lady from Wheeling Who had a particular feeling She laid on her back And played with her crack Then she pissed all over the ceiling.
The limerick packs laughs anatomical Into space that is quite economical But the good ones I’ve seen So seldom are clean And the clean ones are seldom comical
The limerick’s callous and crude Its morals distressingly lewd It’s not worth the reading By persons of breeding It’s designed for the vulgar and rude.
There once was a young maiden in a pickle Into her panties her pee was beginning to trickle Though she put up a great fight And squeezed with all of her might She came when she peed and thought it a miracle.
There once was a lady name Stormy When she needed to pee she became quite horny She held it in all day long By evening she could barely hang on Until she came and peed the seat of her lorry.
Once there was Daphne the Flirt She always had a wet spot on her skirt So horny when desperate for a piddle Into her panties her cream began to trickle Holding it made her cum with a squirt
Jim at foreplay was quite adept Around Jane he kept his arm wrapped She told him she had to go soon But his fingers were sending her to the moon So she wet her pants in his lap.
There once was a man named Lance With his girl he decided to take a chance She said with a sigh As his hand reached the top of her thigh “That makes me feel so good I’m about to pee in my pants!”
There once was a girl named Meg At the door to her flat she began to beg “Let me go in, my bladder is bursting!” Instead she gave into some serious lusting Then kissed him while it ran down her leg.
There was a man so horny when he awoke His wife and her full bladder he began to poke Their passion was intense And their relief was immense And she said, “Oh dear! My dam just broke!”
There was a lovely young miss Who awoke needing badly to piss Instead she woke her lover Who began to firmly pump she thought every girl should wet the bed like this!
There once was a lady named Kay In bed in the mornings she’d play With legs wide apart She’d finger until her orgasm would start The all over the bed her pee would spray.
There once was a lady who’d prance Holding herself tightly she’d dance Oh what rotten luck Her pants zipper was stuck! So she wound up peeing in her pants.
There once was a lady at the dance Who desperately needed some romance After dinner he held her near “More cream for your coffee my dear?” “No thank you. I’ve already more than enough in my pants!”
There once was a girl named Rose Who to her beau a nipple exposed It’s an emergency, please squeeze this Because I’ve waited too long for a piss Just touch it and I’ll pee and cum in my clothes!
There once was a young lady up a ladder She was desperate to find relief for her bladder When it became too serious With relief became almost delirious When on the ground drops of pee began to patter
There once was a lady in Chicago While on the train she really had to go When a gentleman became bold And asked if there was anything he could hold She said, “You’re too late, I just let it all go.”
There once was a lady named Myrtle Who always seemed slower than a turtle When she was desperate to go It seemed she was always too slow So through here panties her pee would begin to hurtle.
There once was a man named Tad He’d wake up needing to pee so bad His wife didn’t mind So he peed on her behind “Oh! I just love it when you’re a naughty lad!”
There once was a man named Don Who would wake with a huge hard–on But his wife’s soft bum Would always make him cum Then down her cheeks his cream would run
There once was a man of the land He’d wake with his prick in his wife’s hand She said, “this must hurt!” “Here, let me make it spurt!” That’s why for wetting the bed she’d planned.
There once was a young lady named Fawn She stood dancing after the trip she’d been on Her good friend Jean Asked what all she’d seen “Everything but the @#$% door to the john!”
There once was a man named Joe His wife got him so hard he couldn’t go She asked, “What’s the matter?” He replied, “Dear, it’s my bladder.” Spreading she said, “In that case, why don’t you cum n’ go?”
There once was a girl named Sandy When desperate to pee she got quite randy Her boyfriend saw his chance And slid his hand down the front of her pants Then she found cumming while going just dandy!
There once was a girl named Jill Her bladder with drinks she’d fill When she got in a pickle She’d let her boyfriend give her fancy a tickle Then in her panties her drinks she’d spill.
There once was a man from Fiji He thought his wife’s panties were dreamy When he’d hear her say “Put your hand up my dress and play” He didn’t find them dreamy, just very creamy.
There once was a lass from Belfast She drank Guinness at the pub ‘til the last When on the way home When she could no longer hold on Her panties got a blast from the past.
There was a lady who was stunning But to the ladies she was desperately running Her hand was thrust between her thighs When she stops and in pleasure cries Her hand and wet pants had made her start cumming.
There once was a young man from Philly His girlfriend was playing with his willy He said, “This is your last chance.” “You’ll make me cum in my pants!” So she let him squirt it on her tittie.
There once was a girl from Twin Cities Who’d impress her dates with her titties You can play with these For as long as you please … … or at least until you make me pee in my panties!
There once was a girl named Madeline Her boyfriend was holding it to gain time She took hold of it for him And pressed the head against her quim I’d MUCH rather you pee on mine!
There was a young lady from Malibu During sex she’d refuse to go to the loo When between her legs they’d play She’d warn them and say,”… “Surf’s up! Cowabunga, dude!”
There once was a man named Jack Who’d not let his lady off of her back When in the morning he’d hear “I’m close to bursting, my dear” He’d fuck her until she peed in the sack.
There was a girl from Mississippi, When her bladder was full she was quite happy The toilet she would not use Because her boyfriend an accident would excuse She’d just say, “Please, fuck the pee out of me!”
There once was a girl name Kitty Who had breasts that were very pretty She’d make her man wait Until to pee was he late Then she’d get him to pee on her titties.
There once was a lady from Maine She got caught short on a flight while in Spain As she was going to the door She couldn’t hold it in any more So her rain fell mainly on the plane
There once was a girl in New Orleans She’d hold it until bursting at the seams When the warm, wet heat Began to spread throughout her seat She exclaimed, “I just love going in my jeans!”
There once was a girl into sports For her boyfriend she’d try all sorts When his desire for wet pants he’d confide Her accident she wouldn’t hide She’d piss and watch him cum in his shorts
There once was a girl who loved sport Especially that of the liquid sort When for wet play she’d start yearning Her passion would soon be burning To float your boat into her port
There once was a lady from Toledo She had a date with a young man in a speedo He reacted with glee After she made him too hard to pee When she asked to launch is torpedo
There was once a young woman from Reading Who’d wake up her husband by singing, “Nothing could be finah, Than to pee on Carolina, In the mor–o–orn–ing!”
There was a Southern Belle named Mina “Water sports? Why, there’s nothing finah!” With a southern gentleman I’ll be flirting While under my skirt I’ll be squirting It gives me such a creamy feeling in my vaginah!
There once was a girl named Pam For hours she was stuck in a traffic jam The traffic kept her waiting Until to hold her pee she was masturbating And didn’t care when she burst her dam
There once was a lady from Pontiac Who was anxiously riding in back She said, “You’ve got to stop!” “I’m just about to pop!” “It’s already running down my crack!”
There once was a new couple from Carolina They got horny in their new home in Edina He started to play with her nipple Then she started to giggle “Honey, you just made me pee in the box of china!”
There once as a girl living in Constance Her date stood her up for the big dance She needed him to play with her badly Frustrated, “Piss on it!” she said madly Then sat right down and pissed in her pants!
There was a lady from Kent State Who was turned on by waiting almost too late In the car the toilet she’d need But her husband knew not to speed He knew it wasn’t long until she had to masturbate
There once was a couple from Tours Who loved to pee together outdoors She turned to her mate And said, “Honey, this is just great!” You hold mine and I’ll hold yours!
There once was a couple who lived high in the moors On winter nights they cuddled behind closed doors With the wind howling in the tree She said, “It’s much too cold to get up and go pee.” “So why don’t you help me hold mine and I’ll help hold yours?”
There once was a lass from Scotland Who traveled with a band all over the land After, to loos everyone rushed Instead she sat and in her panties gushed She peed just to beat the band
Once there was a young man named Bert He said, “I’m so full it’s starting to hurt!” His girl took it from his pants for him Then pointed it up past her hem And begged him to pee up her skirt!
There once was a lady named Delores She’d made her man too hard to piss Then between her boobs his prick she pressed Until his cum she’d made him express Then let him wash his cum off her boobies
There once was a gal named Peg She and her friends shared a keg “Where’s the bathroom!?” she pleaded But all her pleas went unheeded Until all she could do was pee down her leg
There once was a woman from Kilgore Who found using the bathroom a bore Then she began to have fantasies that she stopped wearing panties Now she pees any where, even on the floor!
There once was a girl from Nancy In the morning found the bathroom with “No Vacancy” So she went back to bed And played with herself instead And when she came she cried, “Oui, Wee!”
There once was a woman in a fur coat She had to go so badly she could fill a moat It excited her until she had to sit And under her coat play with her clit Until she floated her “little man in the boat”
There once was a woman named Myrtle The temptation of wet panties she couldn’t hurdle The pressure of the elastic On her bladder made her feel fantastic That’s why she always peed in her girdle
There once was a princess of Bahrain She’d always pee herself when she came She told her prince not to fret She wanted him to make her wet “Quick, get me a drink so I can do it again!”
There once was a lady from Sussex Before her date she took a Lasix In bed she was about to pop But she couldn’t get her boyfriend to stop So they wound up having wet sex!
There once was a lady form Essex Before getting in the car she took a Lasix Her bladder quickly began to fill From the effects of that tiny pill Until she wet her pants in spite of all her tricks
There once was a young lady from Crete Whose bus was delayed by the sleet The pressure she could no longer abide So she pulled her panties aside And peed on the back of the next seat
There once was a lady from the Ukraine Her urge to pee she was desperately trying to restrain Even with her legs tightly crossed Control of her bladder she still lost Until the seat of her jeans was one wet stain
There once was a young lady named Constance She thought using the ladies was a hindrance Between her legs her hand would play So that peeing she could delay And do a pretty dance to keep from peeing in her pants
There once was a girl named May Who loved to do things quite risqu’ When she held more than a tank full In the snow she didn’t try to be artful She’d just pull down her panties and spray
There once was a lady from the desert She would never leave the table without dessert When told by the waiter That dessert was going to be later She waited until the pee ran out of her skirt
There once was a man named Jack While on a date he had a bladder attack She told him to take it in hand And to put it down her waist band Then begged to feel it run down her crack
There once was a chap named Brandon Needing to pee made him get a hard–on Finally he reached such a state Through his pants he began to masturbate Soon he had to go put dry pants on
Once there was a young lady from Washington She found that needing to pee was a turn–on Finally she reached such a state That in her panties she began to masturbate Until she had to go put dry panties on
There once was a couple in London With full bladders both would be turned on Finally they both reached such a state Each other they began to masturbate Until they had to go put dry clothes on
Once there was a lady from D.C. She went to bed needing badly to pee Soon she began to dream Then in her panties she started to cream And woke up cumming in mid wee!
There once was a lady in Nan king A long time in line she’d been waiting She began to shed a tear Because the front was no where near And into her panties she had begun leaking
There once was a lady from Greece Awoke with a hard one between her cheeks It made her want to have some fun So she said, “Please cum on my bum!” And while he humps she squirts and leaks
There once was a couple from Gibraltar Before bed she’d make him drink lots of water When he’d wake up hard and burstin’ She’d tell him to hurry and put it in! “When you’ve got to pee your SO much harder!
There once was a girl named Mary Whose boyfriend was being quite contrary She did not bother to pout She just opened her spout And peed on his expensive upholstery!
There once was a gent named Bert In his pants sometimes he would squirt When he’d need to pee His girlfriend would play with his willy Until in his pants she’d make him spurt
There once was a girl named bunny She did exotic dances for money When she needed to pee Even that wasn’t for free “May I have a lap dance, Honey?”
There once was a lady named Rose Who loved for her boyfriend to pose “When all he can think of is me, Why should I leave to go pee?” Then let go and peed in her hose
There once was a lady from St. Joe’s Who needed the loo badly one would suppose She said, “When I’m in this state… I won’t bother to wait… I’ll just go in my panty hose!”
There once was a lady named Joyce She desperately needed to pee with great force She got down from her chair And on all fours put her arse in the air When she let go it looked like a race horse
There once was a young lady from Fairmont In the pub she was drinking stout She exclaimed, “Oh, what luck!” “The damn zipper’s stuck!” “It seems my jeans won’t suffer a drought!”
There once was a girl named Sissy She was always a horny little missy When asked by someone she met, “Why do you let your pants get wet?” “I get so excited when my panties are all pissy!”
There once was a girl from Hackensack She’d drink so much she’d loose track She’d lay with her bladder filling Because she found it quite thrilling And cum when it began running down her crack!
There once was a country girl from Jesup She was fooling around in a pickup Then said her boyfriend Bubba, “I feel that your panties are rubber!” “Yeah, and my bladder just filled them up!!”
There once was a girl name Louise All the boys she loved to tease She’d tell them there’s a chance They could make her cum in her pants Then lets them play with her ‘til she pees
There once was a young lady named Constance Her boyfriend loved to see her dance He wouldn’t let her go pee Because the dance he most wanted to see Was the one that kept her from peeing her pants!
There once was a young lady from Dorset An accident wouldn’t get her upset She’d hold it until she was ready to pop And wait until the flow she could not stop It excited her so when she’d begin to wet
There once was a lady of Belleau After some drinks she felt quite mellow When her bladder began to feel taxed Her muscles she just relaxed Then turned her white pants mellow yellow
There once was a girl named Sigourney Needing to pee made her quite horny She’d frig and pee in her bed Never thinking to go to the loo instead And for wetting the bed she was never sorry!
There once was a lady from Innsbruck Who had the most wonderful luck When her boyfriend Joe Wouldn’t let her out of bed to go She found holding a full bladder the best way to fuck!
There once was a lady in Muskogee In her office all morning she’d drink coffee When asked by her friend Jill Why she couldn’t sit still She whispered, “I get so horny when I’m dying to pee!”
There once was a lady in Karachi Who’d hold it until dying to pee At her desk she’d look quite prim But under the desk she’d play with her quim Until she’d cum and have a good wee
There once was a lady named Nancy She liked wearing panties quite fancy It wasn’t for love of fashion It seems she had another great passion Getting them all warm and wet with her pee!
There once was a lady from Cincinnati Who loved to dance the mariachi She never thought of stopping Even when her bladder was popping Because she wore rubber panties in which to pee
There once was a lady named Jo She loved to dance the flamenco The staccato dance Made her cream in her pants And that would make her bladder let go
There once was a girl named Missy Everyone at the party thought she acted prissy The said, “We’ll show her!” And said the loo was out of order Then Missy wasn’t so prissy with her pants all pissy
There once was a lady in Manchester Who loved for her man to tittie fuck her One morning after shooting his load He exclaimed, “My bladder’s about to explode!” She said, “Then wash off my tits with your warm water.”
There once was a lady named Jane Who looked on public toilets with disdain On the way home she began to dance And finally put her hand down her pants But couldn’t keep from wetting herself on the train.
There once was a man named Freddie He was playing with his wife’s tits until she was ready But he mistook her squirming For her sexual yearning Until she said, “You just made me pee in my teddy!”
There once was a horny young missy She loved to get her panties all pissy She’d hold the lips of her cunt So her pee would squirt out the front And cum when it ran over her clitty
There once was a belle from Natchez Her boyfriend would keep her in stitches After a hearty guffaw Her eyes widened in awe And cried, “You’ve jest made me wet my britches!”
There once was a lady named Miss Kitty She lived in the town of Dodge City One day in her saloon She locked the ladies bathroom And watched the girls dance while playing with her clitty.
There once was a woman named Chastity Who took a long ride into the city When her bladder began to make A puddle the size of a lake She was amazed at her bladder’s capacity
There once was a lass from afar Who drove home after a while at a bar She was desperate for a bathroom But there wouldn’t be one anytime soon So she spread her legs and peed in her car
There once was a lady named Lucy When she needed to pee she became very juicy It was then she’d begin to flirt By letting men peek up her skirt And let them see her leaking pussy
There once was a young couple of Bull Run Who made love after drinking lots of rum Afterwards she began to fret When she discovered the bed was very wet And said, “Cheeky bastard! You just peed on my bum!”
There once was a lady on a bus Needing to pee wasn’t a cause for a fuss She’d neither whine nor beg When her pee began to run down her leg She’d smile and put on a grand show for the rest of us
There once was a woman of culture But she was about to loose her composure Her bladder in pain Finally made here exclaim “My panties are about to experience great moisture!”
There once was a lady from Niagara Falls Who couldn’t undo her overalls Try as she might The snaps were stuck tight So she left a trail down the halls
Lynn