By: CU Squirm
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This happened on St. Patrick’s Day of this year. I have been too busy to write it up until now, but here it is.
The St. Patrick’s Day Parade is a huge event and thousands of people come out to see it. People are drinking from the early morning and it’s basically a huge party. Due to all of the drinking, there are thousands of people that need to pee. The really good thing for a pee enthusiast is that there are no outdoor porta potties set up, which is really surprising when you think about it. All of the people have to pee in a few restaurants that are open and allow the public to use their bathrooms. If you scout out these restaurants, you can see some great desperation sightings.
The best one of the day was a girl named Gina. I was in one of the restaurants and the line to the bathroom was about 15 girls long. There were a few girls standing with their legs tightly crossed and I was watching these girls when a very pretty little blonde came into the restaurant. When she saw the size of the line to the ladies room she looked very concerned, almost scared. She went to the end of the line. She had on tight blue jeans, a green sweater and a long black coat, which was not buttoned. She immediately began a very serious pee pee dance. She was doing the standard hop from foot to foot, but she was doing it very fast. She seemed to be really on the verge of an accident and she had about 15 girls in front of her and this line was moving very slow.
After about a minute she got out her cell phone and made a call. She was probably trying to take her mind off how bad she had to pee. The line was against a wall and she was facing the wall talking on the phone while dancing and squirming madly. I heard her say to her friend that she was in the line for the bathroom and that she had to pee really, really bad. One look at her and there was no doubt about that. She finished her call and turned around to face the room. She was dancing at a furious pace and she looked at the men’s room, which didn’t have a line at that moment. She hurried over to it using small, fast steps and opened the door only to find a guy in there. She got embarrassed and closed the door and struggled her way back to the ladies room line. She was now not only hopping from foot to foot, but alternating that with crossing her legs and bending about half way down to the ground.
The girl in front of her said something about really needing to pee and how slow the line was moving and Gina said she wasn’t going to make it. Now there were about 5 guys in the men’s room line, but Gina must have realized that guys pee a lot faster than girls do and made the move to the men’s room line. I got in line behind her figuring I’d have a good chance to talk to her and hopefully hear her talk about how bad she had to pee. When I got in line behind her she looked at me with kind of an apologetic look on her face and said, “I’m sorry to be in the men’s room line, but I’m about to pee in my pants.”
I said, “My name is Steve, what’s yours?”
She said, “Gina.”
I said, “Boy, it looks like you really have to pee.”
She said, “Oh I doooo! This is terrible! I was at McDonald’s and there bathroom is closed. Can you believe that! How can they close their bathroom with this many people needing to pee?”
I said, “How come you’re in the men’s room line? Can’t you wait for the ladies room?”
She said, “No way. That line is moving way to slow. I’d pee in my pants for sure.” At this point she jumped up and down a couple of times with her legs tightly squeezed together. Then she said to nobody in particular, “Oh hurry!!!!! I have to pee so bad! I swear I’m going to wet my pants!” She looked at me and said, “I’ve had to pee bad like this while driving in my car a few times. I just pull over somewhere and squat. But I’ve never had to pee this bad in public in my life.”
I said, “Are you going to make it?”
She said, “I don’t know. If these guys don’t start to move, I’m going to wet my pants for sure!” She was bent over now with her hand wedged between her legs and didn’t look like she had much time left.
Just then a guy came out of the bathroom and now Gina was next. She said to the guy going in ahead of her that she really had to pee bad and could he let her go first. He was kind of drunk and said, “I’ve been waiting just like you have. Why don’t you go use the ladies room like you’re supposed to. I should tell the manager not to let you in here.”
Gina said, “No no please. If I have to go back to the women’s line, I’ll never make it! You don’t want to make me pee in my pants, do you?”
The guy said, “It would serve you right.” Then he went into the men’s room. Gina was dancing and squirming and squeezing her legs together like her life depended on it and I’m sure Gina almost felt that her life did depend on it. After a few more minutes Gina pounded on the door and said, “Hurry up. I can’t wait any more!!” The guy yelled back from inside the men’s room, “Shut the fuck up! I’ll be out when I’m done.” Gina turned to me and said, “That guy is staying in there on purpose! He’s trying to make me pee in my pants! Ohhhh, he’s got to get out of there!” Both of her hands were squeezing her crotch and she was bent over double.
I wished I could tell you all that she lost it and peed in her pants right in front of me, but the guy came out and Gina hobbled in to the men’s room. I heard her say how gross it was in there and that it didn’t matter, she would pee anywhere right now because she was about to pee in her pants. When she came out she had a very relieved look on her face and she hurried out of the restaurant. She made it, but I can’t get the visualization of her desperately trying to hold it out of my mind.
CU Squirm