Cold Wet Weekend Part 1

Cold Wet Weekend Part 1
Madeline was a sweet 19–year–old girl (In her mid 20’s now) that used to live down the road from where I used to live. In fact, sometimes I dreamed about her. She was the nicest, not to mention the most beautiful girl in the neighborhood. She stood about 5’ 11”, weighed about 120 pounds, long red curly hair, green eyes, bright red lips, and a dark complexion. She was pretty popular in those days, but she never went out much after she left high school. For some reason (which I do not know to this day) she didn’t carry on any relationships past high school.
One hot summer evening, at an ice cream stand, we finally stood toe to toe for the first time since the 7th grade. She had claimed to be in line before I was, and I, of course without hesitation, let her by for the time. After she picked up her ice cream off the counter and turned around, I grabbed her arm and simply said “May God have mercy on your soul.” At this point I was holding my groin, desperate for a piss, and I believe she knew about my desperation. For that moment to me it appeared as though as Miss Madeline had a facade put up for the whole neighborhood… just to gain popularity and the hearts of those for whom she babysat. I would guess she would do anything for a dollar. Needless to say, I had been holding it for quite some time, but had decided to go ahead and stand in line for ice cream on this dreadfully hot day. It wasn’t that long of a line, however, a few mothers that were ahead of me ended up having large orders as if they were ordering ice cream for the entire block. By the time Madeline started to trod off behind me I was starting to feel trickles run down my leg. I had no time to feel angry or upset, I just wanted to find a toilet before I humiliated myself. After all, I was wearing (of all colors) white shorts, very thin shorts I might add. I stepped out of line, unfortunately only to find myself pushed into the road and then I stumbled. By the time I came to I realized that a truck was headed right for me, which completely forced the floodgates open. Right then and there, almost instantaneously my shorts were drenched with pee. Forming a dark yellow patch upon the front of my trousers, and then flowing down my leg in a torrent. The only thing I could do was feel pure humiliation. In the background I caught a glimpse of a snide smile echoing toward my direction. I knew I must plot revenge some day.
Two and a half years passed since this incident. I took a cleaning job in the movie theater. It wasn’t much of a job, but I went ahead and took it because I really only wanted a little bit of extra spending money. I don’t recall what was playing that certain night, all that I do remember is that it was mid November and she had arrived. It was my night to take care of the restrooms and Carl’s night to take care of the theater cleaning. (Lucky Me) I did, however, get to see her arrive in a truck, which her friend Janine had stalled in the parking lot. That moment made it all the more possible for her fate, which I began to plot in my head right then and there, to be inescapable. From a distance I watched her order 3 large sodas during the duration of the movie, and not once did she hit the restrooms. It was a 3–hour movie, and I’m sure she must have needed to go by this point. But then I thought, “What if the restrooms are ‘out of order,’ what would she do in that case?”
Then a miracle happened. Janine had no idea who I was at the time; but I felt her tap upon my shoulder. Madeline was nowhere in sight. She asked me “Is it okay for you to give my friend and I a ride?” Vengeance just surged through my veins right then and there. Obviously I said, “Sure, no problem at all!” I was overjoyed at this point.
Madeline was wearing white khaki pants and a red sweater, with a grey scarf, when she came out from behind me, apparently. Janine was happy to see Madeline scurry up and she stated, “Hey Madeline, isn’t this great? This nice guy is going to give us a ride home, so hurry up and get in the truck.”
It’s only a pity that I didn’t get to see the look on her face when she heard that bit of news. She stepped in. My truck wasn’t the greatest in the world. It had no heater whatsoever, but there was plenty of ventilation from underneath the dash where the vents were jammed open. Cold air was always leaking in creating quite an undesirable breeze. It was also known for stalling whenever I stopped. It was about 50 minutes to her their home– so it beat walking.
About 20 minutes into the ride, I heard Janine lean over (not all that quietly) and whisper in Madeline’s ear, “I thought you pissed out in the back parking lot before we left– get your hands away from your crotch before he thinks that you are playing with yourself.” That is when Madeline exclaimed, “I couldn’t wee before! There were way too many people around!”
“Well, can’t you wait another half hour?” Janine said with her teeth clenching.
“NO! I can’t wait a minute longer! In fact I have already leaked a little bit! Can you ask him to pull over?” Madeline asked with her face starting to turn red and her eyes starting to water up.
Janine sharply told her “NO! You know damn well that this truck will stall if he stops, he already told you that, so just shut up and wait, you can wait another 20 or so minutes. Don’t be such a baby! Besides I don’t feel like stopping on this road, it’s a dangerous road to stop on and we could be stuck for days in all this snow!”
About 15 minutes went by before Madeline promptly jumped over Janine and slammed my foot into the gas not only causing the truck to spin right into a snow bank but also to permanently stall. During the entire spin Madeline shouted, “STOP! I HAVE TO TAKE A GOD DAMN PISS!!!” However to her dismay the truck landed in the snow bank upon its side. Not only that, but somehow the rear end of the truck some how smashed into a tree causing it to fall upon the driver’s side door. Both ways out of the truck were now blocked. We were stuck like chuck until a plow came along– that hopefully wouldn’t be until 6 am the next morning.
Anyway I finally saw what had really happened. All of our bodies were on top of each other and my arm happened to land right between Madeline’s legs– lucky me! I didn’t feel that badly at all, just disappointed that my poor truck was ruined, but it turned out to be the icing on the cake. I had the greatest unplanned revenge, which she would never learn about. My heart started to race cause I knew I would get to feel her humiliate herself. Not more than 3 seconds after these thoughts I happily felt my arm to begin to get soaked with extremely warm pee, and the sweet sounds of her sobbing reached my ears.
Now this might sound like one of those MacGyver–type moments, where you have everything you need very conveniently. Luckily for all of us there were chips in the glove compartment, along with a 12 pack of beer and 3 blankets. We knew we were there for a while. With my arm stuck between her legs. BWAH HWA HA HA!!! (To be continued)
Crazy Superman