Desperate on Holidays

I’ve always been pretty cautious about needing to pee when I’m away from home since if I’m somewhere I’ve never been before I won’t know where toilets are (and I really don’t like to ask). So I’m usually much more careful than I am at home. Still, I do have a story that happened to me when I was on holidays last month.I’ll start at the point where I passed up an easy opportunity to pee. It was a fairly understandable opportunity to pass up because it was one of those seldom–cleaned concrete block arrangements out at the edge of a National Park. My husband Tom and I had just been for a walk through the bush, clear and wide paths, nothing super strenuous, but really nice. I had drunk a fair bit of water because it was a warmish day. When we had finished walking and arrived at the car Tom took the chance to use the park toilets. I weighed up my options but decided that since I could easily hold on until we got back to our accommodation there was no point braving the probably disgusting toilets out there. Frankly it’s a decision I think most people would have made.As we neared the hotel I wasn’t in any sort of trouble but I was definitely looking forward to peeing until Tom said that he’d like to go to the shops in town to buy a jumper. He had, for some reason, decided not to bring one and it gets cool in the evenings, particularly near the water and we were scheduled to take a boat ride to see a remotish waterfall (I know!). I offered him my spare jumper but apparently he’d managed to get food on it. My usual jumper was also unacceptable because it was pink. Since there was no time to both buy Tom a jumper and go back to the hotel so I could pee I’d just have to wait (of course Tom didn’t know I had to pee, he’d have let me if I’d said something but then he’d be cold and it would be my fault for not going back at the park toilets. Grr).I’m not going to ask to use a clothing store’s bathroom unless I’ve got absolutely no other option so I just held it whilst Tom took forever to pick out a new jumper. After that we hurried down to the dock to get our boat. I figured there would be a toilet on the boat. I figured wrong. It was quite a small boat and the trip was only ninety minutes so we were just expected to have gone beforehand. This wasn’t a good situation. I was still fairly sure I could wait ninety minutes but it’s not something I would have willingly put to the test.The boat trip was nice, the waterfall was spectacular and we got really close to it. Though obviously I enjoy waterfalls more when I’m not busting. By the time we were almost back to the dock I was desperate to pee. It was good that I could just sit still whilst we were on the boat. Then it occurred to me that as it was now dinnertime Tom would probably suggest we just go straight into town to eat rather than back to the hotel first (which was perfectly sensible). I did not want to do that.Restaurants are not somewhere I like to go on a full bladder. Sure some of them have clearly labeled bathrooms and if we went to one of those it would be fine, but what if we went to the kind of place where you have to ask because the toilet is behind some unmarked door out the back? I really don’t like asking. I knew that I’d put off asking until the last second and what if at that point I couldn’t get the waiter’s attention in time? Or if there was someone already using the toilet? Wetting my pants in the middle of a restaurant isn’t something I ever want to do.I turned to Tom and said that I had a bit of a headache and would he mind if we went back to the hotel so I could take some painkillers before dinner? He was perfectly happy with that. Crisis averted. Now all I had to do was hang on till I got back to our room. I was fairly confident but aware that it was going to be a little touch–and–go. When we got to our hotel Tom decided to go to the lobby to use the free internet to update his social media, this was fine by me since now I didn’t have to pretend I wasn’t about to wet myself. Oftentimes I don’t mind wetting myself. Sometimes I deliberately let myself get desperate enough to have an accident, even when I’m not at home (though only when I’m sure that if I pee my pants no one, except Tom, will find out). This was most definitely not one of those times. I really didn’t want to wet myself at all.For some reason this particular hotel required me to use a swipe–card to open four different doors to get into my room. Secure? Yes. Ideal when I’m minutes away from peeing all over myself? No. I have a bit of a history of trouble with doorsteps. Somehow knowing that I’m less than a minute away from relief can sometimes cause me to let go just a little early. Usually only leaking and damp knickers rather than puddles. But sometimes puddles, if I’m really desperate. And this time I was desperate.As I rushed toward my room I was worried that the swipe card was going to have become demagnetized. I’m not sure I’d have been able to wait until I’d walked back to the lobby and had them fix it. Actually I’m fairly sure I wouldn’t have been able to. Visions of soaking myself whilst standing at the front desk danced in my head. Luckily the swipe card worked just fine and even though I had to do a bit of a pee dance whilst I struggled to fit the swipe–card in its slots and waited for each door to unlock I was still completely dry as I rushed into my room.I turned right into the bathroom, slammed on the light switch, and threw the door shut behind me. Relief was just seconds away now. And then it was pitch dark. Because this was one of those hotels where you have to put your room key in a little slot next to the entrance to use the lights. Which I had forgotten. My first instinct was to just lunge to where I remembered the toilet being.Fortunately I didn’t try that because I’m pretty sure I’d have missed and cracked my head open on the bath. Instead I turned around to go stick the stupid card in it’s stupid slot but as soon as I re–opened the bathroom door I realized that there was plenty of light coming from the main room. I left the bathroom door open and tore down my pants and knickers and fell onto the toilet not a second too soon.Seriously, if I’d actually had to work the swipe card into the slot to turn on the lights there was a very good chance I wouldn’t have made it. It was really that close.
By: Faith