Susie's on the Edge

What is the reason for mankind’s obsession with control? Everyone has the message imprinted on their mind: control your life, control the lives of others, and control the world around you. Dangerous as it may be, it is a desire which we all share, it’s in the DNA, it’s instinct. For centuries man has controlled woman, and only recently has she fought back, but she didn’t want equality, she wanted to have that control for herself. Nobody is exempt from this rule.That was how I justified what I was doing this afternoon. When a woman seems to be in trouble it should be natural to want to help her, now shouldn’t it? Well I blew it today, and I really mean that. I just got home and I had to tell you guys about my little adventure straight away. It took a couple of days to write down fully, but I think I remembered it all correctly. It’s pretty well stored in my memory, I can tell you that for sure. I was just walking in town, just kicking it for a day, seeing what I could find. So far I’d found a good–looking CD that I didn’t know about before but was now looking forward to listening to, as well as a great pair of casual pants. (I justified buying these because for a long time I’ve been juggling wearing and washing the ones that I already have, and things would be made a lot easier if I had another). I was just about to leave for home, when suddenly I saw this girl through the fountain in the middle of the mall. The water was clean and sparkling, and it made her look as though she was running in slow motion, through one of those strobe lights. I didn’t get a good look at her, but she struck me right away as being quite something. Not stunning in the media sense, not tall, not blonde, not big chested, but every shape on her seemed to be so right. I let myself spin around on my heels so as not to lose track of her as she ran clumsily through the crowds, not sprinting, not jogging, running as though she was late to catch a bus but didn’t want to look too desperate to get there at all. Each step was accented with a slight bounce, a subtle hint of panic. I really don’t know what came over me, maybe it was instinct, but it really felt like that “animal magnetism” that you hear about. It felt as though I was being pulled towards her by something other than my own decision. I was running after her, trying to be as quiet as I could, looking at my watch so that people thought I was late for something, and not that I was chasing the girl down. I lost her then, among the crowds. I tried to jump up to see if I could see her, but she really was gone. I did the first thing I could think of, I ran as fast as I could up the white stairs leading to a bridge over the fountain, where people were eating. From there maybe I’d be able to see. I was right! There she was, running again, from almost the spot where I had lost her, as though she had been hiding there for a few moments. I didn’t go back down the stairs, instead I ran along the upper floor of the mall, always keeping my eye on the figure running down below. I bumped into someone, waved my hands at him and called an apology, but kept going, twisting to dodge a little kid who was running between people’s feet. By now I was ahead of the girl and I turned and looked behind as I stepped onto the escalator, catching my breath as I let it take me down to meet her. I had timed it just right, and she was running almost beside me as I came off the escalator, but she didn’t notice me. I got a look at her face for just a moment as she ran past. Her eyes were huge and perhaps a little damp, and she closed them and showed her teeth a little, that was the last I saw, and then she was gone again, and I was running too. Suddenly she stopped. I stopped as well, skidding a little on the polished floor, and ducked behind a white post before she could see me. My heart was thumping now, and I was filled with disappointment as I heard her start to run away again. I was about to turn and try to find her, when a man’s voice suddenly shattered everything I was thinking about. “Hey,” he said, “have you seen a girl?” I looked back and heard myself gasp as I saw this man. He wasn’t all that strange looking, middle–aged, quite a large nose, small eyes, blond hair but not much of it. What was striking about him was the way he seemed to be challenging the whole world, there was something about the way he held himself that suggested that his purpose was more important than anything anyone else might think they’re doing. He looked almost sinister. “A girl?” I asked, although I knew he meant the one I had been following. “That’s right, about five feet tall, medium to slim build, short brown hair, answers to the name of Susie Daley.” This time I made sure not to let him hear my gasp. So this was Susie Daley– the famous Susie Daley. My flatmate Steve Benjamin had been talking about her quite a lot recently, since she seemed to be quite prone to getting herself into embarrassing situations, caught short some people call it. Her family’s quite rich, her dad’s a British businessman and they all live nearby, so they’re reasonably well known, everyone’s heard of them. Susie’s a really down–to–earth girl though, not in any way affected by her dad’s success, and she isn’t spoiled since she has a younger sister too. ‘Uh, no,’ I lied, looking down at something the man was holding in his hand. I’m still not sure what it was exactly, some kind of executive stress toy I think, he did seem to be under a lot of stress. It was like a ball with a little spike coming off it, he was holding it pretty tight. “Well, I might have done, there’s a lot of people in the city.” The man’s eyebrows twitched a little then, and he turned and ran away. I was glad to see he had gone completely the wrong way if he wanted to catch up with Susie, he’d run along the road to the left rather than straight on. I wasn’t going to waste time, so I quickly sprinted as fast as I could after Susie, guessing the route she’d taken and trying my best to dodge the people on the way. Suddenly there she was. She’d stopped, she was leaning against the wall, looking around. I wanted to go and tell her that she was safe, that the weird old guy had lost her, and to ask what was going on, but something told me to just wait a moment. She looked all around her, checking every face it seemed. I saw how beautiful she is, just like Steve said, still only sixteen or seventeen but stunning in that cute girl–next–door way. That sounds clich’ but it’s true, that’s how Susie looks. Big eyes, smooth skin, a face you just want to stroke your fingers along, short chestnut hair, shoulder length and with a slight flick forwards at the tips, and a xylophone fringe; a dark blue jersey today, and a grey ruffled skirt, bare legs, soft and milky, and white sneakers. I looked away just as I knew she was going to look at me. She was looking at everyone. At their eyes, one by one, but nobody was looking back. Nobody was watching. Suddenly and with force she clutched between her legs, just for a moment, with one hand, then turned and began to run again. I had never seen anything like it. A simple action that stopped my breathing like that. I began to follow again, keeping closer behind her this time but still making sure never to get too close. Nobody was to know I was following her, or someone might stop me. I guess I thought it was my duty to keep that weird guy from finding her, I don’t know, but she was running and I had to follow, I just could not stop. All thought of my own purpose here in the mall was by this time discarded. On she went, and I kept on following, neither of us waited for even a second, we both just kept running. I couldn’t miss this, I was almost sure by now that I was about to see one of her famous accidents actually happen right in front of me. Her steps were getting smaller, she was definitely not running in an ordinary way, it was more deliberate than that. She was still going at the right speed, but it looked like she was thinking about each movement of each leg as she went. And she probably was. Suddenly she made a quick corner–turn and vanished into a clothes store. I stopped for a moment, then went slowly in, looking around, knowing she’d never get back out as quickly as she got in. She was standing in front of the checkout, saying something to the man behind the desk. I couldn’t hear what it was. He shook his head, and almost at the same time I saw Susie duck down slightly, bending at the knees. She looked around and turned. It was almost as though she was moving in slow motion. Sometimes you see things that way. My eyes just clicked onto her, as here was something amazing to look at. Her hair fanned out around her head as she turned, flicking round against the speed of her movement, her eyes were just opening from a blink and they were just amazing, large and round and beautiful. Her body was just incredible, totally understated, gentle curves not the sheer and jagged angles girls try to get. But her whole being screamed out “help me, I can’t do this on my own.” Her face was so frustrated, maybe a touch of fear there, her body was ducked–down slightly still, and this expression deepened when she saw me. I realized I was looking right at her, and standing in front of the door. My immediate response was to stand aside and let her through, but before my brain had time to process that into movements I realized it would be so much better to stay where I was. Why should I know what was happening to Susie, someone who probably thinks she’s never met me. She tried to look casual. She tried to walk normally toward me and she said ‘excuse me’. Her voice was definitely British. I looked down at her, raised my eyebrows, and said, ‘sorry, what was that?’ I pulled it off brilliantly, I almost fooled myself into believing I hadn’t heard her. ‘I have to get past,’ she gasped, and I stepped aside. She ran out of the store, and I followed, casually at first but then at a sprint, not letting her get away. She ran, always looking this way and that, and at least once I was sure I saw her grab at herself again. Then we were out of the mall. She stopped, suddenly alone at the edge of a huge crowd. Ahead of us was only the big wide square, no stores, no bathrooms. Her hair swung a little as she jigged up and down with her legs, one of them lifting off the ground. This was it, I knew this from the stories, the moment when it happens. She was about to reach the point where she couldn’t hold on any longer. Time for me to make her. ‘Hello,’ I said, stepping out in front of her. Her eyes sprang wide open as she saw me. I had surprised her, and that was what I’d set out to do. Now to actually help her. ‘Is something wrong? You look worried.’ ‘I have to… I’m not very well, I’m just tired,’ she blurted, still the same shy Susie I knew. “‘Well do you need any help?” “Yes… is there a toilet here anywhere?” she stammered. “I think so, come with me.” It was that easy. The crowds swarmed around us as we went, me at a gentle pace, Susie trying to urge me to hurry by taking bigger steps, but she was having to control her movements to stop herself from reaching breaking point and so I was able to pretend I hadn’t noticed. More people, more people, as they continued to flow off to each side I began to wonder where the nearest toilets actually were, so that I could know to avoid them. Suddenly, I stopped thinking that. I looked at what I was thinking and I realized it was insane. The Town was crowded, and an innocent girl, for reasons I had not pinpointed yet, had found herself unable to reach a lavatory in time. I suspected that under normal situations she would have by now lost control, but that because she was in such an overly public place she had somehow found the strength to hold on. As I walked I took a look at her, and decided this was definitely the case. Her eyes were unfocused, she was clearly lost in her thoughts. She was desperate. “We’re nearly there now,” I said softly, lying. I was pretty sure there would be a bathroom somewhere near here, but it was only a guess. She nodded slightly, and bit her lip. I noticed her fist tightening, pressed to her side. I realized my words of comfort had had the opposite effect, and instead of making her feel better, the suggestion of quick relief had made her condition worse. We walked up the street. She was losing control and we both knew it. It was getting difficult for her to keep up with me now. I glanced this way and that. Which of these stores would have a bathroom? I felt sorry for this girl Susie, she was in a really bad situation now and I was actually getting off on it. I kept looking over to her and seeing her face screwed–up in desperate concentration as she tried to hold on, and it was turning me on. What kind of a person must I be? Therefore it was my absolute duty to find somewhere she could go to relieve herself before it was too late. Someone of her age could not be seen to have an accident in public. If that happened, she might literally never forget it. But I thought back to the last story I heard about Susie Daley. She had been caught at a party with too much water inside her and nowhere to go. That time the guy who had helped her to find a bathroom had seen her wet herself in front of him, right there in front of him on the floor. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Would I get to see that today? No. I wouldn’t let myself think those things. It was almost evil. I was going to help her no matter what. We rounded a corner into a side street. There weren’t any windows on the walls in this street. It was dark, only a way through to the next main street. Near the exit, though, at the other end, there was a green battered door, and on it a metal sign showing two stick figures, a man and a woman. Susie must have seen it. She gave a tiny squeak, the kind only the nicest girls can make, and suddenly grabbed hold of my arm with an incredible strength. She leant against me, her eyes screwed shut, her legs knotted together, breathing heavily and grinding up and down. Her whole stomach was flexing, trying to squeeze together the muscles she needed to stop herself from losing control.
This was it. She was about to let go, and there was nothing either of us could do to stop it. Then she looked up. Her teeth were clenched together, but they relaxed. Her eyes opened, full of tears. Her expression faded to neutral. ‘‘Sorry,’ she whispered. ‘‘I came really close then…’’ I let out my breath. So she had controlled it. This girl was stronger than I thought. She turned, her skirt flapping round in a circle, and walked steadily, quickly, toward the bathroom door. I watched her lift up her arm to push it open, and I knew from the way she was standing that she thought she was in control again. I knew, though, that the feeling doesn’t last long, and that any moment now she’d be back to being just as desperate as before. However, it looked like I wasn’t going to see it. Her hand pressed against the door. I saw her bare legs, glinting with beads of sweat, press together for a moment. The door opened easily, and Susie made to step up and into the bathroom, but then she stopped. Her jaw practically hung open. Her eyes filled with tears again. Her ankles met, her legs twisted around one another, her hands disappeared between her thighs and pressed up hard. I walked towards her, filled with concern. As I looked through the bathroom door, I almost laughed out loud. There was no toilet. In its place was a cemented pipe end and a yellow sign board which read ‘REMOVED’. And that was it, no explanation. She turned and looked at me, and this was something I remember better than anything else that happened that night because her eyes had a look in them which was just spellbinding. She was on the edge, about to cry, about to lose control, and she wasn’t strong enough to let that happen in front of me. She told me all this with a look. She ran. She turned, and she ran, past the door, along the alleyway, out into the street. She ran straight across the road without stopping to wait for traffic, thankfully there wasn’t too much about. I ran after her, hesitating on the road, but never losing sight of her. She had her hands to her eyes now, crying like a little girl in trouble, but all the time her legs kept on running. This was something I have never seen before, a last phase of absolute desperation that seemed to be telling her to just keep going, and maybe at the end she would find a place to go. She ran across another road, quite a distance away from me now. A car had to slow down to avoid hitting her. Once she was across, she suddenly stopped, and squatted down, clutching at herself and wiping the tears from her face. I managed to duck behind the car, but she was away again before I could reach her. Over a grassy hill and into a park. There weren’t many people here today, I didn’t know why, but the park was large and I couldn’t see any houses surrounding it. Susie was running more clumsily now with one hand jammed between her legs and the other pushing her hair away from her eyes and wiping tears from her cheeks. I called out to her. I wanted to help her but she wouldn’t let me. She turned her head to look behind her, and wasn’t watching her feet, which caught in a small patch of mud. She skidded forwards down the hill she was on, flailing her arms. I stopped and caught my breath as I watched her go, worried for her safety. She could really hurt herself. As she disappeared over the hill I began to run again, slowing as I reached the top to avoid falling over myself. There she lay, flat on her back, her arms spread to either side of her, tears running across her face and into her hair, her chest dipping up and down as she sobbed, legs bent, feet flat on the ground and drawn up close to her, legs slightly spread. ‘Hey…’ I said, quietly. Her eyes opened and I realized she hadn’t completely known I was there. Her legs shot forwards and knotted together again, sticking out straight, crossed tightly at the thighs. Her skirt fell so that I could see all the way up her bare legs, and could see the muscles working hard. ‘It’s okay,’ I reassured her, ‘it’s okay…’ but she was crying again, her eyes tightly shut. She bit her lip, she squeezed her legs together, she tore the grass with her fingers, but there was nothing she could do. The dampened soil couldn’t absorb the puddle, which spread out under her, past her legs, past her hands and outward to her sides. Her legs glistened in the sunlight and her eyes did too, then they closed again and a single breath escaped her lips, then was quickly sucked in again as an involuntary cry pulled at her throat. She let her legs fall open, and I could see her darkened panties as a thin, clear stream rose up into the air and fell again, catching the sunlight, a crystal rainbow, falling onto the sparkling grass and the white skin of her legs. I was transfixed. I feel guilty about it, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. And here I am writing it all down to tell you now! So there was only one thing I felt I could do. I offered her a ride home. She lay there, her breath slowly returning to normal, her eyes still closed, her hair lying on the grass around her head. Her skirt was darkened, and the pool she lay in was slowly sinking into the floor. She accepted my offer. I am pleased to say that I am now much better acquainted with Miss Daley, almost friends! Certainly if we saw each other again, following the lengthy conversation we had back at my flat (mostly about how she should not apologize for something she had no control over), we wouldn’t feel awkward about saying hi. I can only say that this was an amazing experience and I wish some of you could have shared it with me. Whatever I feel about it, I think that I’ve told it here the way it actually happened and that you can draw your own conclusions and decide on what parts of it you are moralistically happy about reading. I know you enjoy this sort of thing, and I certainly do plan to tell you if I ever hear anything more about Susie’s accidents. I feel bad about it, but I only supply the text, you do with it what you want. I realized as I wrote this that I have been calling Susie by her real name. It’s too late to change that now, what with two stories already posted, but if you meet a girl like this, and her name is Susie Daley, treat her well. She’s a very nice girl. I won’t tell you where we live, though, in case there are any weirdos out there, but from what I’ve seen of this group there really aren’t. There’s a part of me deep down that really wants this to happen again.
GeneZ