College Dilemmas

As I mentioned in some of my other stories, I lived in the dorms in college. It was cheap and it was one of the best damn times I’ve ever had. And it is the only time I have ever witnessed mass desperation by an entire floor of women. If you have read my other stories, then you are aware that in my freshman year I lived in a dorm that had communal bathrooms and that the floors were segregated. One of the things we did on the 4th floor “ZOO” was to adopt the 2nd floor girls as our sister floor. Through the course of the year we did service projects together, planned parties together and just socialized a great deal. We also played practical jokes on each other, all the time. One cold crisp January morning those of us on the 4th floor were greeted with a rather vicious practical joke from our sister floor. As we early birds hit the shower, we found a not very welcome surprise waiting for us. Seems that over night the girls had managed to sneak into our showers and filled all the showerheads with Kool–Aid. My, what a pretty sight it was– red, orange, and blue water coming down onto us from the showerheads. Needless to say this little transgression could not go unpunished. We had a floor meeting and mulled over our options. We thought of taking all their toilet seats, filling trashcans half full of water and leaning them into their doors and all kinds of other things. Then Zach came up with the perfect plan. We would penny lock them in. For those of you that are un–educated in the fine art of penny locking let me take time to explain. All the room doors opened inward from the frames. This is the most important criterion for penny locking. It is an engineering fact that the force a human can exert on a doorknob to turn it is insufficient when the door has been penny locked. To penny lock a door you need two people and two pennies. At the top of the door, one person forces the shut door to bow inward while the second person turns a penny sideways into the now created opening between the door and the frame. Repeat the process at the bottom of the door. With the door bowed, a human being cannot turn the doorknob and open the door. Thursday night was our planned revenge. We bought a roll of pennies and set our alarm clocks for 3:30 AM. At the appointed hour we all got up and ventured down to the 2nd floor. I won’t tell you how we got past the locked hall door– all you need know is that we did. We broke off into pairs and set about our work. Little did we realize, but we were about to commit the perfect crime. You see we caught every girl in her room asleep. Not one person was AWOL that night. We would not learn this little fact till later. The Navy Seals would have been proud of the stealth we used in locking these doors. Not a sound, not a word, and not one target alerted. With in five minutes we were done and back on our floor, laughing and heading back to bed. Our sleep was to be short lived though. I don’t know who got the first call, but I got my first call around 5:12 AM. Linda was on the phone cussing at me and telling me we better get down there right now, because she and Cindy were about to piss on the carpet and this was just not funny. Everyone else got similar calls from the girls on the floor. That is when we realized that we had got them all. No one on the floor could get out to go to the bathroom, or let the other girls out.
There was no way that we were going to miss this show. Some of us headed down to the 2nd floor and some of us went outside to rub it in a little bit. I am sure glad I chose to go outside first. As I said before, we did not have air conditioning in our building so all their windows were steel double hung with screens that came off easily. We never did know exactly whom the 5 butts we saw dangling out of windows belonged to, but the streams were strong and continuous from the 2nd floor to the ground. Apparently these girls could not wait and choose to pee out the windows. Other girls were not that brave and many a trashcan got carried to the bathroom upon their release to be emptied. Rumor had it that a couple of girls just could not bring themselves to use the window, the trashcan or any other container and ended up wetting themselves. About this time the R.A. from the first floor showed up on second floor and began to let the girls out of their rooms. Well we were not stupid and we all took off for breakfast at the dining hall because we did not want to be around to face the music. Within 15 minutes, our little sisters surrounded us. They were cussing us, screaming at us, and threatening us, and eventually laughing with us too. They got their food and came over to sit down and eat with us. The stories we heard were varied and all hilarious. From the shock and desperate horror of being locked away from the bathrooms with an early morning full bladder to the use of trashcans, drinking glasses, a gold fish bowl, (lucky fish) to windows. Several of them commented that the waited as long as they could dancing around their rooms trying to wait. Some of them admitted that they lost the battle when a roommate would pee in the trashcan or some other container and the sound was too much for them. All of them reluctantly agreed that we had done a really good job by catching them all in their rooms.
It was at this point that I learned something about women that I did not realize before this. I knew that they as a whole seemed to pee more often then men and could not wait as long between trips. But they also as a whole have a general, urgent urge to pee after getting up first thing in the morning. While I too need a morning pee, I can usually wait to get the coffee on, grab the paper from the front yard or do some other simple thing. Apparently this is not so with most women. A few of the girls boasted that they were able to wait until they were released from their rooms until rushing to the bathroom. A couple of the girls even embarrassedly admitted that upon reaching the bathrooms and finding all the stalls occupied, they could no longer wait, peeing on the shower floor. And of course they all threatened revenge upon us. We had our laughs and our breakfast and off to classes we ventured. The dorms as I have stated before were a good time. And they were the source of many more desperation and peeing observations during my four years. But those are for another story…
PP Watcher