The Gentleman Returns from the Parade

Parker wasn’t in the school marching band –– he couldn’t have kept step if he wanted to, which he didn’t –– but he often hung out with band kids. When the band director asked his musicians if they knew anyone who could use a video camera well to film their practices and performances, Parker’s name came up, and as such he was roped into being the band’s AV guy. He didn’t mind; it meant he could spend time with his band buddies, and while he wasn’t getting paid, the band director always had free food for him, and that was pretty awesome. Plus, Parker was thinking about being a movie cameraman, or somehow work in films, so it was great experience. Last but not least, it meant he soon got the job of filming the drill team, too.
The drill team was made up of girls who didn’t quite have a cheerleader personality, but still wanted to perform in short skirts and tight sweaters; they developed complicated and often quite challenging routines, and in general looked much more impressive than the cheerleaders because they focused on one or two routines and practiced intensely, rather than trying to do ten or fifteen like the cheer squad did. The drill team wore skirts that almost never went below mid–thigh, with sheer tights underneath, and their sweaters usually showed off other assets to a nice advantage, so watching them perform was never a problem for Parker. Especially watching Kayleigh.
Kayleigh was a very slender girl, so much so that Parker and others occasionally worried she was anorexic; she had long light brown hair, a cute round face and enormous, innocent eyes. For whatever reason she had convinced herself that she was dumb, and despite occasional flashes of brilliance that showed she was quite wrong about that, she usually acted the part of the dumb girl to perfection. But after three years on the drill team she was one of the squad’s sharpest performers, and her short skirt showed off her long legs quite well. Parker had a minor crush on her –– in part because he was determined to show her how smart she really was, in part because she was very cute, and in part because she seemed to have a bladder the size of a peanut– a small peanut. It seemed that every time the team neared performance time she would rush to the bathroom, and then dash to the toilet again as soon as the routine was done.
Parker would sometimes get called in to film the team during the week before a big show, so the girls would know where the rough spots were and what to work on. Sometimes the girls asked him to wait and film them again later, to see their improvement. He would hang out watching them, even giving helpful hints from the sidelines on the odd occasion. When the girls practiced during the summer they sometimes had to use an older, hotter gym. In their sports bras and booty shorts, glistening with sweat, they were quite a sight –– and they tore through a lot of water. Parker made a habit of filling their water bottles now and again, and would sometimes run other errands. Because of his solid “nice guy” reputation, the girls never felt uncomfortable with him as a spectator. A big parade drew near, a three–mile march through May sunshine. As it was the last big event of the marching band season, the director wanted to end strong. The drill team had one marching routine, and decided to join as well. Both naturally asked Parker to film their performance.
The group met at the school, then hopped on school buses and drove to the parade site. It was a warm afternoon and the band director handed out bottled water to his crew. Parker swiped a few and took them up to the drill team as well, who would march in front. Remembering past experience he kept an eye on Kayleigh, and indeed as the starting–off moment approached she began to squirm her customary pre–performance pee dance. She looked around wildly but saw no porta–potties or any other place she could find relief.
“Oh my God,” she squealed to her closest friends, “if I can’t go pee before we start…” She didn’t finish. “Where are the porta–potties?”
Parker, deciding he didn’t need to see her squirming –– and also concerned about her –– trotted off to find someplace for her to go. There was indeed a big bank of porta–potties nearby, tucked around a corner and therefore out of sight, and the lines weren’t bad at all. Parker wasn’t sure if he was glad to find them or not, but he was still too nice a guy to leave Kayleigh to suffer. He hurried back.
“Kayleigh,” Parker called, but just then the band director blew his whistle. “We’re starting in a minute!” the director shouted, pointing to the groups forming up ahead of them. “Everyone get in your places!” With a panicked squeal Kayleigh got herself into line.
Parker noticed Kayleigh glancing around desperately, but he had to get his camera ready and there was no telling when the group needed to march. As usual, it was a case of “hurry up and wait.” Despite being called to attention and readied to march, it was at least another four minutes before the drum majors counted off the cadence and began the march. Parker was sure that Kayleigh could have run and peed before they started, but as it was, she held her place in line with a minimum of fidgeting.
Once into the march itself, it seemed that the effort of keeping in step, her knees high, and making her pom–poms snap at the right moments distracted Kayleigh entirely. Parker, doing his duty, swept the group with his camera repeatedly, but he also shut it off occasionally to save the battery, and then he walked along between the band and the drill squad. As Kayleigh was a tall girl they’d put her near the back, and Parker’s positioning allowed him to keep a close eye on her.
All parades have stops and starts, and plenty of slowdowns. A three–mile march might take six hours. Luckily for everyone this one was a little faster, and they hit the last mile before three hours had elapsed. Despite missing her usual pre–performance pee, Kayleigh seemed to be handling her bladder just fine, never missing a beat or letting her cute smile slip. Parker began to suspect that the whole thing was just nerves; Kayleigh, despite her years of experience and her sharp performances, never seemed to accept that she was actually quite good.
On the third mile, however, Parker began to notice that she was a touch out of step, and that her smile was a little strained. After three hours all the drill squad girls were smiling a little too fixedly, but Parker thought he could tell that Kayleigh’s smile was beginning to spiral down into a grimace. While trying not to be too obvious, Parker kept an eye on her legs. Would he see a telltale streak down one side? Or was he just imagining things?
As the drill team and the band marched across the finish line Kayleigh was definitely off step, but so were several other girls on the team, and half the band as well; sheer exhaustion might account for that. But as soon as they all fell out of formation, Kayleigh turned to her nearest friend, whispered something, and crossed her legs tightly. The other girl, a curvy blonde named Claire, nodded vigorously.
The buses had driven around from the starting point to meet them. Because hiring the buses came out of the school budget and were paid for by the hour, the band director wanted everyone back on the buses as quickly as possible; if they didn’t get back to school in the next thirty minutes or so, the band would be charged another two hundred dollars. “Everyone back on the bus!” he hollered. “C’mon, let’s get going!”
Kayleigh and Claire looked panic–stricken at this. Kayleigh was too shy to open her mouth, but Claire started to say, “Some of us need to use the bathroom.”
“You can go at the school,” the band director said, clearly not really paying attention as he herded more people towards the long yellow buses.
Kayleigh and Claire glanced at each other, truly worried expressions on their faces, but they got on. Parker got on the same bus they did, but he couldn’t sit near enough to them to hear their conversation. In a way he was relieved. The ride back to school was actually relatively quick; the band would keep its money. But Parker, whose mind barely got off Kayleigh and Claire the entire trip, felt every second, and every bump in the road, in sympathetic agony. He didn’t need to pee at all himself –– but sympathy was wrestling with guilty delight in his mind, and sympathy was still winning– for now.
The kids and the two or three parent chaperones that accompanied them piled off the bus and headed for the band room. Parker manoeuvred himself close to Kayleigh and Claire. Another of Kayleigh’s friends, Anna, had joined them. The three were talking in low tones.
The main school doors were locked, of course –– it was a Saturday. The band therefore trooped halfway around the school building to where the band room’s exterior door was. This put them backed up against a little–used parking lot, a falling–down portable building used for storage, and beyond them the tennis courts and two athletic fields. A few trees stood on a dirt patch between the parking lot and the fields. No one could be seen in that direction.
The band reached the band room door and then piled up there, unable to get in. The director had locked the door, of course, and he had the key. No one knew where he was. Now it turned out that the director had made a rather substantial miscalculation. He was an excellent musician and a pretty good teacher but he was horrible at navigation. He’d followed the buses to the parade site, parked his car, and then walked along with the band. While the buses circled around to collect the group, no one had brought the director’s car, meaning he had to walk a good two miles back to find his vehicle, and only then did he start going home –– only to take a few wrong turns that deposited him on a highway going in the opposite direction. Realizing that the band would be waiting for him, he called one of the chaperones to let them know he wouldn’t be there for at least half an hour. At this point the band and the drill team had been piled up outside the band room, waiting to get in and collect their belongings, for some time already.
Parker, who had left his car keys in the band room, was as trapped as everyone else. He stowed his video camera in its bag and sat down near where Kayleigh and a group of girls stood. Kayleigh had her legs crossed and was shifting her weight from foot to foot. Neither was she alone. Claire also had her legs crossed, and Anna and several of the other girls were jiggling a little as Parker watched.
Then the chaperone made the announcement that the band director wasn’t going get there for half an hour. Claire threw her head back and groaned; Kayleigh looked terrified. One of the boys in the group said, “That does it, I’m finding a bush,” and walked off to the tennis courts and the trees there. After a moment’s hesitation, another boy followed. Parker looked back at the girls he’d been observing; Claire was looking profoundly envious, Anna looked calculating. More whispered conversation followed.
“I can’t,” Kayleigh wailed in answer to a question from Anna.
“Well, we’re stuck too,” Anna said. “Worse than you are, even…” but then she lowered her voice again. Kayleigh shook her head again. Claire looked dubious too, until she jerked a little, and made an abortive grab towards her groin, pulling her hand back before she did. She glanced around; Parker looked away, but he was afraid she’d caught him looking. Out of the corner of his eye he saw she was doing a little dance, pretending it was part of the routine.
Then suddenly Anna came over to where Parker sat and crouched down in front of him.
Parker liked Anna a lot; she was sweet, funny, down–to–earth, and also a cutie with a trim runner’s body and bright eyes –– which made her practically unique at their school. Not as willowy as Kayleigh or blonde–bombshell like Claire, she played clarinet, which matched her personality well –– not as flighty as the flute players, not as brazen as the saxophones, not as abrasive as the drummers. She was wearing the usual band uniform: jacket over uniform pants. She’d undone her jacket to reveal that the uniform pants were actually overalls of a sort.
“Parker,” she said, “do you know any other way to get into the building? A lot of us need to go to the bathroom.”
“I don’t have any keys to the outside doors,” Parker said. “I’ve got keys to the tech room and that’s it.”
“Well, we knew you hung out with Justin, and people say he’s got a master key.”
Parker smiled. “Justin’s got way more keys than he should. He doesn’t have a master, though.” He paused. “But he might have a door key, wouldn’t surprise me –– and he just lives a couple blocks over, he could be here in two minutes.” He pulled out his cell phone and called his buddy. Anna looked hopeful.
“What’s up, man?” Justin said on the other end of the line.
“Hey, man, do you have a key to the school?”
“Why d’you ask?” Justin said warily.
“We need to get in.”
Anna put her hands together in a silent begging gesture, mouthing a fervent “Please!”
“Well…” Justin said, “I don’t have a key to the main building, but I do know a way in.”
“How?”
“Well, it’s kind of complicated, I’d need to show you… and you’d need a classroom key.”
“Do you have one?”
“Promise not to tell?”
“Come off it, man, I know you’ve got it.”
“Yeah, I do…”
“Dude, get over here!” Anna perked up as she heard him say this.
“Wait, are you at school right now?” Justin asked.
“Yeah, man. We need to get in. How long can you wait?” Parker asked Anna.
“Five minutes?” Anna said, a worried grimace spreading over her features. “And Kayleigh and Claire are about to explode.”
“We need to get in, like, ten minutes ago,” Parker told Justin.
“Sorry, I’m way over in the city.”
Parker swore. “Not helpful, Justin!”
“Well, sorry, but I had plans….”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s not your fault,” Parker said. “Kind of a surprise situation for all of us.” He said goodbye hurriedly and hung up. “No luck,” he said.
Anna looked very worried at this point. “Okay, that’s not good– because all of us really need to go. I think Kayleigh’s about to pee her pants, she hasn’t gone since before the parade.”
Parker decided not to mention that he’d been well aware of the state of Kayleigh’s bladder for the last two and a half hours.
“Can you find a bush?” Parker asked, half–ashamed of asking.
“Well…” Anna said, “Kayleigh says she can’t pee outside. And us band girls have our uniforms to deal with.” She opened her jacket wider to show him the overall shape. “We’d have to take the pants all the way off, and some of us aren’t wearing much underneath, you see? We’d pretty much have to get naked, and we can’t do that unless we can find a really private spot.”
Parker restrained himself from making the obvious smart–aleck remarks that this prompted in his mind. He considered, for a moment, just saying, “Sorry, I can’t help,” and waiting to see what happened next. But the same feelings that allowed him to restrain his dirty comments also forced him to do something.
“How about I run around to all the doors and see if the custodians left one unlocked?” he said. It was a forlorn hope –– he knew how thorough the janitors could be –– but he had to take some kind of action.
“Thanks so much, Parker,” Anna said, rising to her feet.
Parker was glad to get away from the growing crowd of fidgeting females. He avoided the small cluster of boys peeing against the trees and began trotting around the building, trying every door he found. Three minutes later he arrived back where he started, somewhat out of breath and not sure whether he was disappointed or relieved.
“Did you find a door?” Anna asked. Now she, too, had her legs crossed, and poor Kayleigh was doing a rather impressive and decidedly noticeable pee dance. Anyone within sight could tell what her trouble was.
“Sorry,” Parker said. “There’s no way in.” He hesitated. “Nobody’s going to get here with a key for another twenty minutes. As far as I can tell you either need to find a bush or pee your pants.”
Anna bit her lip, considering these two not–terribly palatable options.
“I really don’t want to wet my pants,” she said, “but the thing is, if we go pee in a bush I just know some of the guys are going to try and sneak a peak. I know you wouldn’t, you’re such a nice guy, but those other guys…” she pointed to two of the more obnoxious boys. “There’s no way, not if we have to pretty much strip down. We’ve got to find a good hiding spot and then keep them away.”
Parker wasn’t as sure as she was that he wouldn’t try to look. But the gallantry in him took over. “I’ll keep them away from you,” he said.
“Thank you,” Anna said fervently. Then she looked around. “Where’s the best spot, do you think?”
Parker thought, remembering the circuit around the campus that he’d just done, and then said, “There’s a staircase down to the boiler room, the custodians use it sometimes. If you go down right next to the door, nobody can see you.”
Anna nodded. “Sounds good. Now let’s get Kayleigh and Claire over there before they pop.”
Fortunately the boiler room was just around the corner. Anna explained the situation to her group –– by now six girls including her, about half band and half drill. The girls were by now desperate enough to grab at straws.
As the group followed Parker, however, one of the chaperons called out to them. “Where are you going, kids?” It was one of the moms.
The girls looked at each other. Anna glanced at Parker, who wasn’t about to explain that he was taking the girls around a corner for a little public urination, not to someone almost old enough to be his grandmother.
Anna must have sensed that no one was about to explain, so she said, “Mrs. Butler, we all really need to go to the bathroom.”
“The director said he’d be here in ten minutes.”
The girls, knowing that the director was not known for punctuality, especially when cars were involved, glanced at each other. Parker, having been leading the group, was now behind them, and saw Claire, not terribly subtly, reach behind herself as if to check for damp spots. All the girls were clearly nearing the wetting point. Anna again spoke for the group.
“Mrs. Butler, we really can’t wait to get inside. We need to go now. It’s hot, we’ve been drinking a lot of water… some of us haven’t gone for hours.”
Mrs. Butler looked confused. “Where are you going, then?” Some onlookers were starting to gather.
Anna glanced at Parker. “Parker says he knows a spot where we can kind of get out of sight.”
“Where?”
Parker explained, as quickly as possible.
The grandmotherly woman wrinkled her nose. “A stairway? No, that’s disgusting.”
“Oh, god, no,” Claire muttered. She had one hand pressed against her groin now.
Parker saw two boys who had come over and were eying the girls with clear interest, grinning and clearly enjoying the situation. Rage at the situation, sympathy for the bursting girls, and rage at himself for enjoying their discomfort so much all pooled, and he snapped at Mrs. Butler, “Well, if they can’t go on the stairs, find a better spot for them. Anywhere’s fine, just as long as you keep those guys from watching.” And he pointed to the onlookers.
Mrs. Butler turned, and saw the open lust on the boys’ faces just before they realized she was looking at them and tried to look innocent. That was apparently enough. “All right, everyone back to the band room!” she snapped, making shooing gestures with her hands and seemingly oblivious to the six frantic ladies she’d just been talking to.
Taking advantage of her distraction, Parker said, “Come on, right around here.”
The girls trotted around the corner and out of Mrs. Butler’s sight, as quickly as they could with full bladders. Parker pointed. “Right down there.”
Claire burst into… well, not a full run, because that would have made her wet herself for certain, but a quicker jog. She got to the stairway ahead of the rest and trotted down it. Parker realized, however, that he’d misjudged the stairwell’s depth; even standing at the bottom, Claire was still about one–third visible.
She wasn’t standing for long, however. She squatted down and out of sight.
The other girls, reaching the stairwell, looked down to where Claire had her skirt up and was desperately tugging at her tights and panties. After a second’s struggle, however, she had them down and the hissing rush of her pee filled their ears. Parker stole one highly guilty glance and then made himself move a few steps away, facing the other direction.
“There’s only room for one,” said Jennifer, a band girl Parker barely knew.
“It’s fine, we can squat on the stairs,” said Monica, another drill team girl, and she hurried down and squatted next to where Claire was still pissing out a river.
“We can still see you,” Jennifer pointed out, “and we have to take our uniforms all the way off.”
“I’ll go last,” Anna said, but then she turned to Kayleigh. “Kayleigh, you can go.”
Kayleigh was by now doing quite the pee dance. First she bent slightly, stamping from foot to foot while keeping her legs pressed close together, arms a little back, breasts hanging down and pressing against her sweater. Then she straightened up and pressed both hands between her legs, which hiked up her skirt. She bounced up and down, then bent forward again. She was crying.
“I can’t, I can’t,” she said. “I just can’t, I gotta peeeee…”
Anna took her by both her shoulders. “So do I, we’ll do it together, okay? And Parker will keep anyone from seeing us” –– Parker hastily glanced away again –– “and it’ll be all right, okay? I don’t want you to pee yourself.”
“I’m already peeing myself,” Kayleigh burst out with a sob.
Parker wrestled with himself for a long, long time, but in the end he couldn’t resist one look. Kayleigh had pulled her skirt up at the front, apparently to show Anna what was happening beneath it. She still had her other hand pressed against her groin, but a dark stain was growing fast, and streaks of liquid were beginning to run down her tights.
Claire had at last finished. She came up the steps past the still–pissing Monica, who had her head back as she sighed with the bliss of long–awaited relief. Jennifer took Claire’s place at the bottom of the steps and started undoing her uniform. When Parker realized that she was only wearing a sports bra underneath her overalls he looked away… although admittedly he looked straight back at Kayleigh. Anna, who was still standing cross–legged, was hugging her friend. Kayleigh’s cheeks looked as wet as her tights. Monica and Claire joined the embrace, but their looks of sympathy were clearly laced with expressions of vast relief.
“At least you feel better now, right?” Claire said to Kayleigh.
“I wet my pants!” Kayleigh wailed.
“But you don’t need to pee anymore, do you?” Anna pointed out. “I still have to go so bad! Tell you what, though, I don’t think your skirt got wet at all. Take your tights off, no one will notice.”
As the other two drill girls supervised this, Anna clamped a hand over her own groin and shifted from foot to foot, waiting for the other band girls to finish. As the process of getting out of the overalls was not an easy one, this took some time, but Anna valiantly held on until the stairs were clear. Parker allowed himself a glance backward, and caught a glimpse of Anna just getting into a squat. Yes, she too had only worn a bra under the uniform, and not a sports bra at that. No wonder she needed some privacy.
“Parker,” Claire called, “Could you go get my purse? It’s black, with a cat on it.”
Parker hurried to do as he was bid. When he returned, Anna had finished peeing. Kayleigh had her tights and panties off, but her skirt was back down and concealed everything… barely. It was an awfully short skirt. Claire used some tissues from her purse to wipe Kayleigh’s tears away, until the girl looked somewhat better.
“Parker, you won’t tell anyone what happened to Kayleigh, will you?” Claire demanded.
“My lips are sealed,” he answered gravely.
Anna grinned. “You were so nice today, Parker,” she said. “We all would have peed in our pants if you hadn’t found this spot. And what you said to Mrs. Butler! I just about cheered.”
“I was so pissed at her… umm…” He stopped himself as he realized what he’d said.
Anna laughed. “I was just about ready to piss on her. We were all about to explode, and she was just standing there telling us how disgusting it was… like it was our fault.”
“You were doing pretty well by yourself,” Parker said, “but I just got so mad. Especially at those boys checking you out, that really… ticked me off. I was ready to kick their asses right there.”
“You wouldn’t have actually hurt them, would you?”
“Oh, yes I would have,” Parker said. He didn’t mention that he felt like beating himself up too. “How else was I going to keep them from spying on you? And I really wanted to give you some privacy.”
“Really?” Anna said.
“Totally.”
“So you didn’t sneak any peeks?”
“No,” Parker said, but he knew it sounded weak. Anna raised an eyebrow. “Well, maybe one.”
She grinned again, and nodded. “That’s better. And I’m glad you told the truth, ‘cause I don’t like dating liars.”
Parker blinked. “Wait, we’re dating now?”
“You’re objecting? Didn’t like what you saw after all?”
He blushed bright red.
Anna laughed out loud and tucked her hand into his.
Parker could only hope, desperately, that she never found out how much of the truth he’d kept back.
By: Weasel